Sunday, June 10, 2012

Fire door.


The windows of my corner, bottom-floor dormitory room in college faced a small parking lot. The door to the lot was a solid, heavy fire door that swung hard and closed loudly.

I was not liked, and most weekends I spent alone watching television. I was lonely, but there were people I wanted to be my friends. On Friday nights and Saturday nights, I could hear when they left for parties or dinners or plays.

I also could hear when they returned. If they were in groups, they spoke loudly. If they came back in pairs, they giggled. 

I did not sleep much on those weekends. 

2 comments:

  1. This kills me. I know the feeling. Feeling "left out" hasn't been an issue for me in adulthood really, and not thru too much of my childhood, yet I guess I experienced it enough for it to leave a mark on me. Strangely, I have dreams very often in which I am being left out of a group and am terribly sad about it.

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